Gruntled and shevelled

Linguistic humor, How I met my wife

Source: Jack Winter. 1994. How I met my wife. New Yorker, July 25.
It had been a rough day, so when I walked into the party I was very chalant, despite my efforts to appear gruntled and consolate.
I was furling my wieldy umbrella for the coat check when I saw her standing alone in a corner. She was a descript person, a woman in a state of total array. Her hair was kempt, her clothing shevelled, [or should that be hevelled?—BES] and she moved in a gainly way.

I wanted desperately to meet her, but I knew I’d have to make bones about it, since I was travelling cognito. Beknownst to me, the hostess, whom I could see both hide and hair of, was very proper, so it would be skin off my nose if anything bad happened. And even though I had only swerving loyalty to her, my manners couldn’t be peccable. Only toward and heard-of behavior would do.

Fortunately, the embarrassment that my maculate appearance might cause was evitable. There were two ways about it, but the chances that someone as flappable as I would be ept enough to become persona grata or a sung hero were slim. I was, after all, something to sneeze at, someone you could easily hold a candle to, someone who usually aroused bridled passion.

So I decided not to risk it. But then, all at once, for some apparent reason, she looked in my direction and smiled in a way that I could make heads or tails of.

I was plussed. It was concerting to see that she was communicado, and it nerved me that she was interested in a pareil like me, sight seen. Normally, I had a domitable spirit, but, being corrigible, I felt capacitated—as if there were something I was great shakes at—and forgot that I had succeeded in situations like this only a told number of times. So, after a terminable delay, I acted with mitigated gall and made my way through the ruly crowd with strong givings.

Nevertheless, since this was all new hat to me and I had no time to prepare a promptu speech, I was petuous. Wanting to make only called-for remarks, I started talking about the hors d’oeuvres, trying to abuse her of the notion that I was sipid, and perhaps even bunk a few myths about myself.

She responded well, and I was mayed that she considered me a savory character who was up to some good. She told me who she was. “What a perfect nomer,” I said, advertently. The conversation became more and more choate, and we spoke at length to much avail. But I was defatigable, so I had to leave at a godly hour. I asked if she wanted to come with me. To my delight, she was committal. We left the party together and have been together ever since. I have given her my love, and she has requited it.


Will Apple ever sell me another laptop? Still no.

In 2013 I upgraded from my laptop to a Mac mini when I could no longer develop apps on my laptop. I wanted to test whether my apps would run on the new M1 chip (they do) and it was taking forever to compile and run on the old setup so it was time to upgrade again. I wrote a post at that time with reasons to go with a Mini instead of a laptop and the underlying rationale hasn’t changed since then. The price difference is much less now, $699 for my base model Mac Mini with an M1 chip vs $999 for a laptop but I still opted for the Mini. My old monitors either don’t have the resolution for the Mini or didn’t work at all so I had to spend $373 for a new monitor and a few cables so my total outlay was a little over $1,110.

Mac Mini Desktop

Rather than doing a migration from the old computer with all of the old files from multiple migrations, I opted for a fresh start. The only program that doesn’t work on the new setup is Acorn.(Fixed with Version 7) Firefox works but often freezes after waking. When I first got the computer it sometimes wouldn’t recognize the keyboard, but I think they must have fixed that problem with an update since it hasn’t happened for quite a while now. Otherwise, no issues.

I connected the two Minis with a 6″ Cat 5 cable so I can open files on the old computer and work on them on the new one. I connect in the Finder with Go->Connect to Server->Browse. It works fine although Pages wants to autosave and the old computer doesn’t support whatever it wants to do so I have to keep telling it that there really isn’t another program that has the same document open.

I had an old Samsung TV that I now use for the old Mini. It is also connected to my big monitor. I still have most of my email on the old computer, which was a big reason to have two monitors, so I haven’t missed having the new Mini connected to just the big monitor. It’s an LG 27″ 4K monitor. The text is crisp and colors fine.

You might notice the joystick next to the monitor. The M1 Mini is fast enough to run X-Plane and it is completely silent when running. That is one big plus for the M1; it has fans but I have never heard them. It also has an SSD instead of a spinning HD so I never hear the HD whine. It also opens Xcode and my project in seconds rather than multiple minutes that the old Mini requires. Waking from sleep and rebooting are also significantly quicker—orders of magnitude quicker. When Apple says this Mac is fast, they really mean it.

When I bought my Logitech keyboard I got one that could also connect to my iPad. I never used it for that but the ability to connect to three devices with a key press makes it handy for switching back and forth between the two computers. I frequently forget which computer I am connected to but so far haven’t done any damage to my files.

I was considering getting a mouse that would switch back and forth, but using two isn’t an issue and I don’t see the need to spend $100 on a new one.

Here’s hoping this setup will last me another eight years.

Processing bad email addresses in our customer list.

Back in 2014 I wrote a post about processing returned email and enough has changed that the advice is no longer relevant.

I use Apple’s email client to send and receive mail and this time around I created rules for dealing with the remove requests, auto replies, and bad addresses. I don’t get many remove requests so I handle them individually. Likewise, the automated replies usually are out of office or moved to a new location so they get manual treatment as well.

This time around I got 12,002 failures—although the actual number is much lower because servers will give 24, 48, and 72 hour notices as well when they can’t deliver the mail. Deleting the 7,747 warning messages yields 4,255. I used three rules to put the returned mail into a Failure mailbox.

Subject begins with Warning: message
Subject begins with Undeliverable
Subject begins with Mail delivery failed:

This caught most of them. I then selected all of the messages and printed them to a PDF file. Mail does not warn you that it will only print 300 pages so if you don’t have a lot of failures you can select groups of messages and make sure that there are fewer than 300 pages in the group. My computer is old so it also is slow to delete messages. So you need to be patient.

If you can get the messages into a PDF file you can open it in Preview, select all and then use the BBEdit feature Process Lines Containing to first extract lines with @ and then remove ones with your domain. From there it was just a matter of getting rid of things like retry timeout exceeded, Final-Recipient: rfc822;, and Status: 5.0.0 by doing a simple find and replace.

Getting rid of the last group took a bit of grepping since I wanted to get rid of everything before the “<” e.g.

To: "Alice Foxwood" <>
but it’s just

If you have lots of failures, and I normally get a bunch of I haven’t sent out an email in a while, then you need a different method. First you need to find where Mail put the Failure folder. MacOS won’t let you into the Mail directory so you need to copy it to your Desktop and then use the terminal to find one of the failed messages.

cd /Users/jscarry/Desktop/Mail
grep -R '' .
In my case the message was in

cd ./V7/06676897-0872-4618-9225-222A5281A236/Failure.mbox/69AC0518-E9C8-4B54-ADD0-2A0B676267B4/Data/
Then I copied every line with an @ to a file:

grep -R "@" . > ~/Desktop/failure.txt
This method gives you all of the header info so you get lots more junk than in the first method. I spent maybe 20 minutes using BBEdit to get rid of things before and after the address. Multiple sorts and deleting duplicates helped. I also used the Process Lines Containing feature to find all the lines with @ and copy them to a new file since some of my edits resulted in lines without an email address.

There are lots of duplicates in the list since so I sorted the lines and then removed duplicates. That left me with 4255 bad addresses which I then imported to my bad address table. That’s more than the 4,116 failure emails because some of the failure messages had an internal email address e.g.