Love and Sex
I’m not in love, but I’m open to suggestions.
Joan Armatrading
The bride was pregnant so we threw puffed rice.
The problem with sharing ones lovers is not that they com back “used” or ”broken” but that they come back.
The ego is bruised; that they felt the need to go away in the first place.
Chris: So, if there’s anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.
Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris: Not right now.
Real Genius
Fathers and teachers, I ponder, “What is hell?”
I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The other night I brought home my girlfriend to meet my parents. They liked her a lot, but couldn’t stand me.
Woman: “What are you thinking about?”
Man: “I don’t know.”
Woman: ”Would it help if I gave you a clue?”
Debauched? Yes.
Degenerate? No.
I don’t think you can call a man degenerate if he likes both boys and girls.
James Michener—The Drifters
A bachelor is a man who comes to work from a different direction each day.
James Michener—The Drifters
Were I to use the wits the Good Spirits gave me then I would say this lady can not exist—for what sane man would hold a dream to be reality. Yet rather would I not be sane and lend belief to charmed, enchanted eyes.
Isaac Asimov
I practice birth control. I say no a lot.
Some celibate
Love is the answer but while you’re waiting, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.
Woody Allen
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another is essential to your own.
Robert Heinlein
Relationships, relatationliners, relationdinghys.
All the problems of love are problems of maldistribution. There’s plenty to go around , but it always goes to the wrong people, at the wrong times, in the wrong places. The loved get more loved and the unloved get more unloved.
Erica Jong
Eli to Lucky after pulling him out of the river. “I hope this doesn’t fuck up our relationship, you being alive and all.”
The Stunt Man
I had a virgin once. I had to go to Guatemala to get her. She was blind in one eye and had a plastic alligator that said Miami Beach on it’s side.
Sam—The Stunt Man
The opposite of love is not hate but apathy.
John le Carré
I kissed my first woman and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I have never had time for tobacco since.
Arturo Toscanini
There’s a place here in my mind
where we’ve made love a thousand times.
Janis Gill—What It Does to Me.
Every time I meet a man I ask myself, “Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with.”
Rita Rudner
For birth control I rely on my looks.
The advantage of masturbation over intercourse is that you don’t have to get dressed and go home afterwards.
Monogamy leaves a lot to be desired.
Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them.
Justin's Dad
“Sex is a beautiful exquisite gift between two people who are married.” No, Sex is a biological function that has the side effect of creating pleasure and a sense of intimacy between as many people as can be squeezed into a master suite at the Schenectady Days Inn.
jamalyigle
You’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you are a nerd.
And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true.
It’ll be because you’re an asshole.
Erica Albright
If you are under him you ain’t gettin over him.
Dua Lipa
No one has ever died of celibacy.
Society is prepared to accept men as women before it has even finished accepting women as women.
Ally
If the only thing stopping you from dating a man is their pronouns, you’re not a lesbian.
TikTok @realitykilledtheradio
We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
Somerset Maugham
Boxes are for cereal.
Scott Newgent
When [women] stick to the vocations for which they are best adapted, such as chicanery, sophistry, self-adornment, cajolery, mystification and incubation, they are sometimes splendid creatures.
Nero Wolfe
